Finding Hope in the New Year: A Message for Grieving Hearts

New Year’s resolutions, glittery parties, “new year, new me” posts—yeah, we get it. The world loves a shiny fresh start. But let’s be real: when you’re grieving the loss of someone you love, the New Year doesn’t feel like a blank slate. It feels like just another reminder that they’re not here rather than a season of renewal. The weight of loss can make it hard to imagine joy or hope in the months ahead. And honestly? That profound sorrow sucks worst than anything.

If you’re drowning in grief while the world is busy popping champagne, this is your reminder: you don’t have to fake a smile or pretend everything’s fine. You’re allowed to feel every ounce of what you’re going through. Grief doesn’t follow the calendar. It’s a deeply personal journey, one that unfolds in its own time and in its own way. And yet, even amid the pain, the New Year offers an opportunity to reflect, to honor your loss, and to nurture the tender seeds of healing. Let’s talk about how to face this New Year with honesty, rawness, and maybe—just maybe—a little hope.

Feel What You Feel, No Apologies

Grief doesn’t care about your schedule or anyone else’s expectations. Some days, it’ll hit you like a truck, bringing on a flood of tears. Other days, you might feel nothing at all, just a sense of numbness. Guess what? That’s normal and valid. Grief is messy. One minute you’re crying in the shower, and the next you’re rage-eating junk food on the couch. Or even wailing the type of scream that only comes from a depth of pain no human should have to ever experience. Own it. Give yourself permission to experience these emotions without judgment. Don’t let anyone rush or guilt you with their “moving on” nonsense or “looking on the bright side” or even worse, accuse you of “babying your feelings” shit. Screw that. Feel what you feel. Cry. Scream. Sit in silence. It’s your grief, and you get to handle it however the hell you want.

Keep Their Memory Alive—Your Way

Forget about what other people think you “should” do to honor your loved one(s). No Pinterest-perfect tributes if you’re not feeling it. Do what feels right for you. If lighting a candle works for you, cool. If dancing around the kitchen to their favorite song while cooking their favorite dish feels right, do it. It’s not about grand gestures—it’s about connection. They’re still with you in the ways that matter. If creating a scrapbook of cherished memories, or setting aside time to share stories about them with others who knew and loved them, do it! It’s not about the “shoulds”—it’s about keeping their memory alive in ways that actually feel good to you;  rituals can keep their presence alive in your heart. You’re the boss here, do it your way.

Set Chill Intentions, Not Overhyped Resolutions

Let’s be honest: resolutions are overrated. Who needs the pressure of becoming a whole new person overnight? Keep it simple. Rather than setting ambitious resolutions, set gentle, small, doable intentions instead; nurturing intentions for the year ahead. Like, “I’ll drink more water,” or “I’ll take a walk when I feel like it.” Gentle, doable, and zero pressure to transform overnight. That’s the kind of vibe you can go for. This isn’t about transforming your life; it’s about surviving—and maybe even thriving—one tiny step at a time.

Don’t Go It Alone, Find Your People

Grief can make you feel like you’re living on an emotional island, but you’re not. You don’t have to do it solo. Lean on family. Text a friend. Join a support group. Talk to a therapist. Yeah, it can feel awkward or heavy, or exhausting, but bottling it up may be less than helpful. Sometimes, talking to others who understand can provide immense relief. Find your people—the ones who get it, or at least try to—and let them in.

Let Joy Sneak In

Here’s the thing about grief: it’s not all darkness, all the time. Joy and grief can coexist. Every now and then, a sliver of joy will sneak in—a laugh, smiling at a puppy, a beautiful sunset, a memory that makes you smile instead of cry. Let it. Joy isn’t betrayal. It doesn’t mean you’re “over it” or that you’ve forgotten them. It just means you’re human. And you’re still here. These glimmers of light can be stepping stones toward hope. So when those little sparks of happiness show up, welcome them.

Give Your Anger a Voice

Let’s talk about the anger. Because let’s be real: losing someone you love can make you furious. Angry at the universe, at circumstances, at people who just don’t get it. And that’s okay. Anger is part of grief, and it deserves space. It deserves validation. Punch a pillow, write a letter you’ll never send, scream-sing in your car. Whatever helps you get that growing fire out safely, do it. Anger doesn’t make you weak or bad; it makes you human. Honor it, and then let it ebb when it’s ready.

Grow Into the Pain

Grief doesn’t “go away”—it shifts, reshapes, and teaches you things you didn’t ask to learn. It changes you in profound ways. It’s messy, ugly, and hard as hell. But over time, it can teach you things—about love, compassion, about resilience, about what really matters. You don’t have to “get over it.”  It’s about carrying your loss while still making room for the rest of your life. And you will.

Honoring Your Journey, Your Way, One Moment at a Time

If the New Year feels like a lot, like really heavy, that’s okay. You don’t have to match anyone’s energy or hit some mythical “grief milestone.” This is your journey, your rules. Move at your own pace. You’re not here to meet anyone’s expectations. The journey of grief is about moving forward, not moving on. It’s about carrying your loved one(s) with you, even as you figure out how to keep living. So screw the resolutions. Screw the pressure to be “happy.” Let yourself be messy, tender, and fierce. And when you’re ready, face each day—moment by moment, focusing on getting through. You’ve got this.

A Final Thought: Finding Healing Through Food 

Finding comfort after loss can look like many things. Food can be quite healing. Grieving is a deeply personal journey, and finding moments of comfort along the way can make all the difference. Food has a unique way of nurturing both the body and soul, offering warmth and connection when we need it most.

Sometimes, familiar flavors can spark fond memories of your loved one, gently reminding you of shared moments and the love you carry forward. While it's natural to gravitate toward comforting foods during this time, it's also important to care for your body by eating a well-balanced diet. Nourish yourself with plenty of vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, and water.

If you find your appetite has waned, try eating small, healthy portions throughout the day to keep your energy steady. Little by little, these choices can help you feel supported and cared for.

For a unique twist on comfort food, we created a new recipe that might bring a touch of warmth and joy to your table, something fun to do with FLAMING OATS™. In moments of loss, even small comforts like this can remind you that healing is a process, and you are never alone on the path to renewal.

Jaylen loved football and excelled at it. He was a natural leader among his friends and an inspiration who encouraged them to dream big and stay excited about their futures. He was also the most amazing big brother to his siblings—fiercely protective and responsible. 

Generosity and kindness defined Jaylen. He loved helping people, including strangers. Because of this, his mother made the heart-wrenching decision to honor his life by giving life to others through organ donation. Jaylen is a hero. His selfless gift saved the lives of three strangers—two young Arizonans and an older gentleman in California.  Part of him will live on through them. That's cool as hell.

Jaylen’s Honor Walk—a ceremonial event where hospital staff line the hallways as the donor’s loved ones walk him to the operating room elevator doors—was the hardest thing we’ve ever done as a family. It was gut-wrenching beyond words. We played his favorite song, Paint the Sky Red by rap artist Rod Wave [listen here]. Jaylen loved that song, and it will forever remain in our hearts as we said goodbye to our beautiful, sweet soul.

As his auntie, I cry every day. I shouldn’t have to write this because Jaylen should be here. The world needs him. But as we try to navigate life without him here in the flesh, we are fiercely committed to seeking justice for Jaylen. We won’t rest until his killer(s) are arrested and brought to justice. 

If you’d like to support our efforts, please share Jaylen’s story to keep his memory alive and help ensure justice is served. Our family will never find closure, but we made a promise to Jaylen to fight for him—and he deserves nothing less. 

Thank you for your support and prayers. 

Honoring Jaylen Reeves: GoFundMe  

#JusticeforJaylenReeves #LLJ7 #DonorHero #OrganDonationSavesLives